At the end of October 2015, I was 37 weeks pregnant expecting a little bundle of joy. That month turned out to be one full of many transitions. I had been working at the same place for over 8 years, that was the same month I left employment. Many still think that decision was hasty and probably hormone inspired. Yes, people talked behind my back and decided that I was making a decision that I would later regret. Only the people from my inner circle knew that this was a decision I had been mulling over and praying about for years.
Before I had time to allow myself to adjust to my new unemployed status, Taji (meaning crown in Kiswahili) arrived a month early, exactly five days after I left my job to be a Stay At Home Mum (SAHM). There was no time to prepare for how my life was going to change, a little human had arrived. She took over my time and all aspects of my life. A few months down the line and the gravity of the decisions I had taken started to take a toll on me.
I was adjusting to being a new mum, half the time feeling like I had no idea what I was doing. I had an amazing support system around me, but it didn’t matter. I began to fall deep into a hole of darkness. My constant friends were self-doubt, guilt, anxiety, and depression. I call that hole the ‘mummy hole’. It is an isolated place to be. You see motherhood can be very fulfilling and the joys a new baby can bring are endless. However, if one isn’t careful you will find yourself completely withdrawing from the world, surrounded by the voices in your head constantly wearing you down.
It is only recently that I have begun to feel the fog lifting from my mind. I will share with you the few things that helped me get out of the mummy hole.
Accept that your Isolation will only be for a season, babies grow up and after a few years you will begin to get your life back on track. The sacrifices you are making will be worth it in the long run
2. Talk to someone:
See a counsellor, a close friend one who understands the journey you are taking, you can’t do it alone. Engage your mind in some mental exercise. I am a creative at heart, writing has literally saved my life. The battle starts there if your mind is active you have won half the battle
3. Take care of yourself:
As a SAHM money can be tight as you adjust to leaving without a constant income, however when you can put money aside for yourself. Go for a mani-pedi, have coffee with your girls. If you are an introvert like me grab a yummy book and spend an afternoon alone. Doing the things, you love will keep the individual alive, yes you are a mummy but you used to be a person too.
4. Get Out of the house:
It was hard at first but eventually I started to. I began by taking walks around our estate and visiting my family. A change of environment is a healthy step in the direction to mental wellness.
So many times, I couldn’t pray but others did, and eventually it got me feeling better. God hears and he heals
So here is to the journey of raising healthy mothers and children. Talk to us and share your own journey.